Sorry about the absence

Sorry that I've been so quiet. I have been literally working way too many hours and have had no time to even read blogs or news in the last few weeks. Man I need a break.

There are a lot of things going on that I want to comment on. But since I only have a few minutes to spare right now, I am going to stay on a light note and mention some of the more humorous things that I have stumbled across.

The Worst Act... EVER.
One of my favorite films is Mel Brooks' "The Producers" which he made in 1968. I know that there is a new version... which I have not seen. I can't image how they could hope to top the original.

The premise of the story is a sleazy Broadway theatrical producer figures out that he can make more money by producing a flop than a success. So he goes about attempting to put together the worst possible musical production in history. He buys a script from a crazy ex-German Nazi called "Springtime For Hitler". He hires an egotistic beatnik hippie to direct. And he hires the worst actors that have every tried their hand at the art. He reckons that he has a sure-fire flop of magnificent proportions.

Of course things don't go as planned. The play is so bad that is becomes a critical, and unfortunately for him, a financial success.

The Cherry Sisters

Well I found out today, through an obscure link in a comment regarding a blog in Maine, that the story behind the film does has roots in reality. Ever heard of the "The Cherry Sisters"? The seem to have the distinction of producing and starring in the worst vaudeville act in history. Their show was SO bad that local grocers could not stock enough rotten vegetables to sell to the audience.

In 1886, New York City impresario Oscar Hammerstein contracted them for his new Olympia Music Hall in "uptown" Broadway and 44th Street. He was going bankrupt, and needed to figure out at way to save himself. So he decided to book the worst possible act he could find. He succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. In 6 weeks he had paid off all his debts... and the Manhattan tomato sellers made a fortune.

I can't do justice to what is written about these women. Besides being famous for being the worst act ever. They also played a part in the legal history of the United States because a lawsuit they brought against a theater critic for the cedar Rapids (Iowa) Gazette for his savage review of their show. The courts eventually ruled that the reporters and writers were entitled to write what they felt without fear of defamation and libel. But that was after one judge had ordered this critic to marry one of the Cherry Sisters as punishment.

Here are the links to better coverage of this act, and the amount of fury they unleashed when they took their show on their road throughout the US and Canada.

• Wikipedia Summary
• Radio station WFMU's Lowest Common Denominator magazine has an excellent article.
• The Palimpsest, an Iowa history magazine, has a good article about them.

Robot Chicken's "Golden Girls meet Sex In The City".

I don't have cable or satellite television. So I don't get to watch Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network. But I am very aware of some of the brilliant animation work that is being made and broadcast on that program.

One show in particular that has really caught my eye is Robot Chicken. I've been lucky enough to see samples and out-takes of this stop-action animated show, thanks to sites like YouTube. If you have 3 minutes to watch one sample of this briliant show, then watch this one.

Golden Girls meets Sex in the City

Man... I was on the floor laughing so hard. Another excellent parody is this Star Wars spoof where Emperor Palpatine has to take a collect phone call from Darth Vader after the Death Star is blown up.

Pamela of "Atlas Shrugs" kicks ass

Man I love this woman. She is one of my favorite bloggers. Pamela is a fiesty New York City Jewish ball of energy who writes and rants in her right-wing blog "Atlas Shrugs". She has recently added a feature a feature to her blog, video blogging. Also known as as vblog. She has created short videos of herself talking about subjects that she is passionate about.

I tend to agree with a lot of what she feels. I'm not as far right as her. But I enjoy reading her work. Now seeing her video rants I can see that she is not only intelligent and opinionated. She is also good looking. Brains and beauty.... worth watching and listening to.

I crack up whenever I watch her videos. She doesn't intend to be funny. She is just being herself. She has a very strong personality, and a thick New York accent. She sounds a bit like Fran Dresser from the TV show "The Nanny". Except in Pamela's case, what comes out of her mouth is worth listening to. It is her mannerisms that make me laugh. She is so expressive!

In particular, watch this vblog. In this one she asks what I think is either her daughter or her niece, about George Clooney's politics. This part happens within the first minute, so you don't have to watch the whole thing if you don't want to.
Pamela: "Margo. What do you think about George Clooney talking about Darfur?"
Margo: "I think....."
Pamela: "Yea."
Pamela interrupts Margo and looks at the camera: "Let me tell you what she thinks. OK? This is what she thinks. She thinks he is an idiot. Alright?..."
Pamela continues her rant about Clooney. The look on poor Margo's face when Pamela takes over is priceless. You can almost see her thinking "Oh well... There she goes again. I'm not getting a word in edgewise today."

I watched this entry today and pissed myself laughing. She did something that I am certain she didn't even know she had done. Within the first few seconds she looks at the camera and says "Anyways. Listen...". Then her right hand instinctively flashes across the screen as she snaps her fingers to catch your attention. I don't know why I find that funny. It just does. She is so in-your-face. I like that.

Well I hope doesn't take offence at anything I said. I don't think she will. If I ever go to New York, I would love to have the opportunity to debate international politics with her over a drink. I would consider it honor if I could stand toe-to-toe with her.

Assimilation of immigrants - Europe versus US

I've been following a lot of articles and blogs discussing the failure of western European nations to assimilate their Arab immigrant populations. These articles and discussions often compare the immigrate experience of the US as compare to Europe. The consensus is that in the US, the children of immigrants are totally assimilated into the US by the time they reach adulthood. They note that African and Arab immigrants to Europe seem to be stuck as second class citizens, crammed in to ghettos, and denied opportunities to grow.

I'm not saying the the US is better or worse. Nor is either side of the Atlantic perfect. But observers note that in the US, Arab immigrants tend to universally be totally plugged and integrated into the US culture.

These articles then tend to go on to speculate as to why this is. These is where they tend to go off the rails with racist crap, US bashing, Europe bashing, Arab bashing, etc. I think the reason for this is very simple. It is simply a statistical quirk caused by some very real "environmental" conditions. I put the word "environmental" in quotes because I mean the environment that an immigrate lives and works.

I've broken down the reasons for these differences below.

(1) Proximity to the Middle East.
The Turks and other ME immigrants can literally drive to German in one or two long days. It allows immigrates to visit home quicker. The visits home reinforce their old culture. It also allows more of their kinfolk to join them in Europe. Which reduces the need to assimilate.

Conversely, moving to the US from the Middle East takes a lot more effort. It costs more money. It takes more time. So once a poor immigrant is in the US, they tend to stay put.

(2) Legal versus Illegal
Because of the proximity to the middle east, Europe tends to get more illegal immigrants from near by Middle East and North Africa. In the US, most of our illegal immigrants come from nearby Mexico and Central America. Hence, Europe's illegals are statistically going to be Arab or African. And the US's illegals are statistically going to be Latin American.

Being an illegal is tough. They have to stay below the radar, and tend to stick together for. It is no different here or in Europe.

(3) Size of US versus Europe.
The scale of size and the homogeneously of the US makes it much easier to move around within the US. When an immigrant arrives in the US, they have an enormous choice of places to settle. In Europe, the nations there are the size of small to medium US states.

(4) US car culture.
Even when one particular immigrant group tends to congregate in one city, such as Armenians and Iranians in Los Angeles, the size of the US cities forces them to diversify. The US car culture is what allows this to happen.

People tend to scatter throughout the city depending on housing prices, job locations, and commuting. Hence, they end up interacting with other Americans. The car allows people more choices on where to live. Thusly, other factors such housing prices, school districts, proximity to work are much larger factor in deciding where to sink one's roots.

Compare that to Europe were some neighborhoods are very segmented by ethnic and culture classes. In large European cities, one can pretty much stick to their neighborhood and get everything they need. It most US cities, it is hard to survive in one spot without a car.

In the US, the children of immigrates tend to grow up and move the other states, cities, and neighborhoods. They do not want to live next door to mom and dad.

(5) The Social Care Net.
I think the fact that the US does not have universal health care and relatively harsh welfare benefits tends to discourage those who wish to migrate simple to be taken care of. You don't move the US to get health care for your family unless you plan to work to pay for it.

I think we tend to get the more enterprising immigrants. We get those who want to improve their lot in life by working hard and having the opportunity to be rewarded for risks. I think the US tends to get the cream of the crop, so to speak.

(6) Business opportunities
I can't answer to if it easer to start a business in Europe or the US. But I think it is safe to say that it is probably easer in the US. More important is the fact that a business owner will be able to keep more of their profits in the US.

It might be true that some European nations have made it easier for small business to get started. But after the business grows, they are subjected to the full weight of supporting the welfare-nanny state.

In the US, it seems that the larger the business, and the wealthier one is, the less one has to pay in taxes. So if you have big plans, then the US is the place to be. If you want to stay small and safe, then go to Europe.

(7) The US Higher Education System.
There is to parts to this. (A) is opportunity, and (B) is location.

Opportunity: In Europe, teenagers tend to be forced in to one of two "life tracks". They are either put on the labor track and given industrial training. Or they are put on the university track and to get a degree and become a professional. These decisions are made, or made for them, when they are around 14 years old. Once put on the labor track, it tends to reinforce itself.

In the US, every teenager is encouraged to attend college and get a degree. It does not matter what their plans are for a career. In the US I think that people know that teenagers really don't know what they want to do when they grow up. You can stay in school in the US until 21 and still not decide to be a doctor or a plumber.

This system allows more teenagers to mature and to experience higher education. This will give them a chance to realize that they can do more with their lives.

Location: In the US, when a teenager decided to attend college, they usually leave home, often to another city within their state. They get immersed into a college town culture. This opens up a huge world to them of new people and ideas. It breaks them out of the little world their parents sheltered them in. When they go back home, they see their family and neighborhood with new eyes and new ideas. Their world is now bigger than anything their immigrant parents could even envision.

In Europe, college students tend to live a home with mom and dad. Within the school, then tend to stick within clicks of their own type. They don't tend to break out of their cultural shell as much.

So between the greater opportunities to even attend a university, and the total immersion that occurs when one does go, it greatly increases the odds that the children of immigrates will assimilate.

(8) Nationalism
The US is a nation of immigrants. Europe is a collection of nations, each with their own language, history, and culture. In the US, citizens tend to think of themselves as Americans first, then their state second. This is the opposite of Europe, where one's loyalty is to their nation before Europe.

Hence. It is harder to assimilate in Europe. It takes a long, long time to become a citizen who is indistinquishable from the locals. Immigrants, and he children of immigrants, find it harder to be totally accepted. I'm sure it can be veyr frustrating to someone who was born and raised in Europe to be treated like they just got off the boat that morning.

Another day at the welfare office

Sorry I have not posted anything. Been very busy. There is a lot that I want to write about.

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be exected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it."

Hat Tip: Robin